Taoism:　 Shit Happens.
Hare Krishna:　 Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.
Hinduism:　 This Shit Happened Before.
Islam:　 If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage.
Zen:　 What Is The Sound Of Shit Happening?
Buddhism:　 When Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit?
Confucianism:　 Confucius Say, "Shit Happens."
7th Day Adventist:　 Shit Happens On Saturdays.
Protestanism:　 Shit Won't Happen If I Work Harder.
Catholicism:　 If Shit Happens, I Deserve It.
Jehovah's Witness:　 Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens."
Judaism:　 Why Does This Shit Always Happen To Us?
Atheism:　 There is no shit.
Rastafarianism:　 Let's Smoke This Shit.