CURRICULUM VITAE

He's unleashed in the east
Best dressed in the west
Sorted in the north
Without a doubt in the south

He's the Lion of Judah
Phoenix from the ashes risen
Undefeated, undisputed featherweight champion
on all five continents

He's the world record holder with a high score of two gazillion in Tetris
Two-time recipient of the Nobel prize for super hottest male ever
and war time consigliere to the Cosa Nostra

He split the atom, invented the x-ray,
the cure for AIDS, and the surprise blindfold greeting

He performed and choreographed the fights
for Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon
and Game of Death and still does stunt doubles
for Jackie Chan on the weekends

He suckerpunched Einstein, outsmarted Ali, and
even outsuperfreaked Rick James
With a perfect track record since kindergarten where he used to
whoop schoolboy ass

He's listed in section 202 of the United Nations Security Act of 1979
as being too hot to wear tight jeans on international airspace

And in this world of tension, pressure and pain
he is known by men and women of all origin and faith
for his wisdom, compassion, and relentless
determination in the quest to
get
paid